Park Rangers

So we went camping this weekend in my sweet home town. We got all the gear packed up in the back of our tiny Ford and headed off for a weekend of campfires and s'mores! We met some good friends of ours, Abby and Ben, and set up our temporary homestead.

If any of you have even been camping, you know that the rangers, well, don't have anything to do but sneak up on people and scare the living daylights out of as many as possible. I really wouldn't be surprised if they make a game out of it and go back to their post, pick up their dry-erase marker, and tally how many "scares" they just acheived.
Here is our story...

We got to the campsite at about 8pm, and quickly got everything in place. While I was blowing up our air mattress, we realized that Ben had grabbed the wrong mattress for Abby and him. As we unfolded it, we found a twin size air mattress that had holes in it. (Not too useful, folks.) We stoked up a blazing fire and had a delicious meal of potatoes and steak. Abby and I settled down into our camp chairs to enjoy the warmth of the fire, while Ben and Jared drove home to retrieve a bigger air mattress. Well obviously Abby and I got to talking and laughing and catching up. After we had covered all the basics, like who is dating who, and who dumped who, and who likes who, and who looks good in that outfit or this haircut, we moved on to more insightful topics. It went like this...(edited for length purpose, the conversation lasted at least 5 minutes)

Naomi: "I think it is so weird when women refer to their period as being 'on the rags.'"
Abby: "I know! Some of the women at my church say that all the time, but that is because they actually use rags. All I can think of is a big white diaper with clothespins!
Naomi: "Ugh! Can you imagine wearing a diaper? That would be so awful and bulky!"
Abby: "No wonder they all wear jumpers! A diaper wouldn't fit under normal clothing!"
Naomi: "[laughter] I can't believe they wear a whole diaper!"
[Enter fat, bearded park Ranger.]
After throwing out that last comment in an excited voice, I turned my head slightly and saw, mid-laugh, that a park ranger was standing about 5 feet away, with a junior ranger cowering behind him. Now I will tell you the laughter died pretty fast. It was at this point that he decided to click on his flashlight to "warn" us of his approach. Good plan there Stan. We have absolutely now clue how long he and his cowering junior ranger (who actually looked like he belonged on a California beach with his spiky brown hair and dark tan skin-- very out of place) had been standing there. In any case, I am pretty sure they learned a little more about how women use rags.
After they left, Abby and I tried to figure out how they were so stealthy in their approach and how long, in fact, they had been standing there listening to our less then kosher conversation!

I think they just wanted to learn about the technique of rag wearing, because they really didn't have much to say once we noticed their presence. They informed us that is was now quiet hours. I can honestly say that we were being so quiet that you would have to be standing 5 feet away to hear what we were saying. Maybe they just wanted to take the opportunity to check out some cute girls, because as they turned to leave, the fat ranger turned and asked,
"Is it just you two girls here tonight?"
Abby quickly and emphatically replied "No! Our husbands are coming back any minute!"
At that ranger mumbled "Oh" and they turned and walked away into the darkness.

Blasted park rangers. Go eat a doughnut.