I just got the kids into bed, and the house is quiet. I sat down to relax and enjoy the quiet, and immediately Bambino started wiggling. Subconsciously, I put my hand on my belly to catch every little movement, and before I knew it, I caught myself smiling and talking to my belly. When I realized what I was doing, I was hit with a mixture of emotions. Joy for the privilege of feeling a healthy, happy baby move in me, and then a little sad as I thought about the limited moments like these I have left. I fully expect that my time is down to days, not weeks. It makes me wistful to think about this being the last few days I (am planning to) ever feel these precious movements inside of me. So while I am really good and miserable in my current state, I am also sad it will all end very soon. I am cherishing these last few days and will...
actually...
um...
miss it
(shh!! don't tell anyone!)
I am sure this tornado of emotions is only heightened by all the hormones currently surging through my veins.Just wanted to share my thoughts in these last days.
Oh. And while I am sharing my thoughts, I suppose I cannot honestly conclude without mentioning that I REALLY DON'T WANT TO EXPERIENCE LABOR AGAIN. I'd like to jump to the part where they place my baby in my arms.
So... I am miserable, I love feeling the baby move in me, I want to be done, I am sad that I am almost done, I hate being pregnant, I will miss being pregnant, and I don't want to give birth. Got it?
Ok. Now I have fully expressed my thoughts.
6 comments:
Oh, reading this post brought back memories - wanting to smile, sob and scream all at the same time! I hope that the next few days/weeks go well for you and that labour is easy and drama-free :-)
Ah, I miss being pregnant. I enjoyed both of my pregnancies, even though there were, of course, moments of discomfort, stress, and physical misery. I sometimes think it would have been interesting to be a surrogate...
Totally tracking with you! I'm just 3 months ahead of you, that's all! Hoping all goes well!
I think this tornado of emotions is fairly normal for pregnancy so no worries ... and soon it will be over and you'll be holding your baby and it will be so much better than knowing it's inside you - because you'll get to see the face and little fingers and smell that baby-head smell that they have!
Lauren, I looooove that baby-head smell :-)
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