Maybe more than my body, my mindset has shifted. I am in full-throttle baby mode. I have been listing the things that need to be done before baby's arrival, and getting to work to accomplish them:
-I washed and packed the two "going home" outfits
- I packed the diaper bag.
-We have our baby names decided with the exception of a girl's middle name. So last night we narrowed down the list to four possibilities. We will try to make a final decision on that this week.
-I started working on a labor playlist, gathering songs that I believe will "distract" me and encourage me during the pains of labor.
-This morning, I revised and printed our birth plan to hand in at our appointment next week.
-I did extensive research this week about breastfeeding, and preparing myself for the best possible success
Along those lines, Jared and I have decided that since breastfeeding is so important to us and I have had such ill-success in the past, and because the first 48 hours are extremely crucial in the overall success of bf, we will not be accepting visitors while we are at the hospital (with the exception of family). However, we would welcome and love visitors after we arrive home! Please just understand that breastfeeding is my top priority, and visits will revolve around feedings. I need to do this right this time!
Baby has been on my mind so much that last night I had a dream...
I was laying on the couch watching the kids while Jared was out running errands, and was turning over when I had one strong contraction and the sudden urge to push. So I gave birth (in one push, and no mess!) and held our new baby boy with joy. I texted Jared that the baby had been born, and he arrived home about 20 minutes later. I then spent the next two hours chasing the kids around the house breaking up fights and doing my motherly deeds, all the while passing the baby back and forth with Jared. I was growing ever more distraught as the time passed because I wanted to breastfeed the baby right away, and didn't have the chance. Finally I broke down in tears and told Jared I had not even had the chance to sit down and breastfeed yet, so he quickly assured me he would take over with the kids and handed me our precious baby girl. I looked into her beautiful round face, surrounded by various shades of pink blankie and hat, and fell in love.
The dream was so vivid and seemed long and very detailed. I woke up feeling sad and disappointed that I did not in fact have my babe that I fell in love with in my dream, even though it was gender-shifting AND because I did not experience a no-pain, one push, no mess delivery. :-)