Saturday, December 13, 2008


"Every time God speaks into our cold, dead hearts, He's recreating again... Don't be afraid to speak, because God is going to use your misplaced words to awaken another person's heart." Tim Porter

It has been my prayer over the last month (well, last year to be honest), that God would awaken my heart and grow me as a Christian. I have tried again and again to pursue God wholeheartedly. But have failed again and again. My heart often felt hard. Dead. But as Tim recently taught, God is the ONLY one capable of changing our hearts. My heart.

This month must have been God's perfect timing, to awaken my heart and make it alive. I have felt more spiritually stretched over the past month than I have over the past year. And it is not easy. I have had to remind myself daily that God did not promise it would be easy. In fact, He promises it won't be easy. But, I am finally at the point where I am glad for the difficulty. Without pain and trials, there could be no growth. No dependency on God to get me through.

"See, the point is not to put it ourselves out there and pretend like we have it all together. The point is to say that we don't have it all together, but we know Someone who does." -Porter

I have never been in prayer so much as I am now. I finally know what it means to "pray without ceasing." The world around me is crumbling. I am finally realizing that I have been too. I do not have it all together. I am good at pretending that I do. But a sweet relief comes with the realization that it's okay that I don't have it all together. That is why Christ went to the cross.

Though many difficulties lay waiting in the road ahead, I'm finally learning that I was never meant to get through them alone.


erin said...

Thank you for your honesty, sweet friend. Your prayers have meant so very much to me over the last month. I love and value you SO much.

Cara said...

Yeah, I haven't even told you the result of your texts to me asking what my prayer requests were..... That was so awesome. Glad to read this post and hear that God id using and working through you. Love you.

Kara Jo said...

Love your honest thoughts and willingness to share your struggles & realizations.