Monday, July 23, 2007

Unsolved Mystery

So last week Jared told me he is planning a surprise hot date for us tonight. WOOHOO! It is been sooooo long since I have been on anything resembling a hot date. He has tauntingly mentioned this date everyday since then, increasing my anticipation to the utmost. Then, in the car last night at 9:30 pm, he sprung something on me--- I was told I have to wear "a sexy little outfit." Immediately my mind jumped in two different directions.
First, "Wow! This date is bigger than I was imagining. I wonder what we could possibly be doing?!"
Second, "How can sexy and pregnant coincide?"

So when we got home, I ran upstairs and riffled through my closet and dug out three of my "sexiest" pregnant dresses and tried them on.
1st dress- Uffta! NOT so sexy after all.
2nd dress- Are we going camping? Cause I'm wearing the tent.
3rd dress (little black dress)- PERFECT! Sex in a bottle. I was pretty sure at this point that I had reached my full potential and successfully (magically) married "sexy" with "pregnant."

I accessorized with dangly rhinestone earrings, a sparkly necklace, and black heels. I threw on a sheer black overshirt, and ran downstairs to display myself to Jared. He looked at me and his face lit up and said: "Woooow. That does look sexy, but..." and stopped. My heart jumped. What?!? What could possibly be wrong with this outfit? It hit me. It was waaaay too formal. I quickly asked him if that was the problem. And here was his reply: "Well, I want you to be comfortable. But I want you to feel sexy."

I don't think he realized that he just asked the impossible. Sexy. Comfortable. Pregnant. I barely managed to pull together sexy and pregnant. I honestly didn't think it could be done. But comfortable and pregnant? That would consist of my cut-off gray sweatpants and the baggiest T-shirt I could find. Maybe a hoody too. And my down blanket. Anyone think this is SEXY?

When I heard this response my heart sank. No matter how much I scrounged through my closet, I would never find something to fit all three.

This morning, I brought 3 outfits, 6 necklaces, 4 pairs of earrings, 2 bracelets, 3 pairs of shoes, and 2 purses to work with me (he is picking me up straight from here). When I arrived, I lamented to Cara about my impossible predicament, and she ran upstairs and returned with a shirt for me to try on. Guess what? It fits me PERFECT. It looks sexy. It is more comfortable than any shirt I own. I am still pregnant. Cara, will you marry me? You are my hero!

(I will post pictures tomorrow of our date and let you know what the heck we did!)


Anonymous said...

Yes, NeNe, I WILL marry you! I can't wait to see the ensemble! I bet you will look great....and hopefully comfort follows! I just can't imagine where you are going tonight???

Have fun! :)


kristi noser said...

I forbid you to marry Cara

erin said...