Monday, July 23, 2007

Unsolved Mystery

So last week Jared told me he is planning a surprise hot date for us tonight. WOOHOO! It is been sooooo long since I have been on anything resembling a hot date. He has tauntingly mentioned this date everyday since then, increasing my anticipation to the utmost. Then, in the car last night at 9:30 pm, he sprung something on me--- I was told I have to wear "a sexy little outfit." Immediately my mind jumped in two different directions.
First, "Wow! This date is bigger than I was imagining. I wonder what we could possibly be doing?!"
Second, "How can sexy and pregnant coincide?"

So when we got home, I ran upstairs and riffled through my closet and dug out three of my "sexiest" pregnant dresses and tried them on.
1st dress- Uffta! NOT so sexy after all.
2nd dress- Are we going camping? Cause I'm wearing the tent.
3rd dress (little black dress)- PERFECT! Sex in a bottle. I was pretty sure at this point that I had reached my full potential and successfully (magically) married "sexy" with "pregnant."

I accessorized with dangly rhinestone earrings, a sparkly necklace, and black heels. I threw on a sheer black overshirt, and ran downstairs to display myself to Jared. He looked at me and his face lit up and said: "Woooow. That does look sexy, but..." and stopped. My heart jumped. What?!? What could possibly be wrong with this outfit? It hit me. It was waaaay too formal. I quickly asked him if that was the problem. And here was his reply: "Well, I want you to be comfortable. But I want you to feel sexy."

I don't think he realized that he just asked the impossible. Sexy. Comfortable. Pregnant. I barely managed to pull together sexy and pregnant. I honestly didn't think it could be done. But comfortable and pregnant? That would consist of my cut-off gray sweatpants and the baggiest T-shirt I could find. Maybe a hoody too. And my down blanket. Anyone think this is SEXY?

When I heard this response my heart sank. No matter how much I scrounged through my closet, I would never find something to fit all three.

This morning, I brought 3 outfits, 6 necklaces, 4 pairs of earrings, 2 bracelets, 3 pairs of shoes, and 2 purses to work with me (he is picking me up straight from here). When I arrived, I lamented to Cara about my impossible predicament, and she ran upstairs and returned with a shirt for me to try on. Guess what? It fits me PERFECT. It looks sexy. It is more comfortable than any shirt I own. I am still pregnant. Cara, will you marry me? You are my hero!

(I will post pictures tomorrow of our date and let you know what the heck we did!)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, NeNe, I WILL marry you! I can't wait to see the ensemble! I bet you will look great....and hopefully comfort follows! I just can't imagine where you are going tonight???

Have fun! :)

~CARA

kristi noser said...

I forbid you to marry Cara

erin said...

LOL.